This is a current trend: we are getting involved more and more quickly and easily. And yet, we get married more and more later! To give yourself time for reflection? Possible! In the meantime, save time by assessing your compatibility. Because, unless you are looking for a relationship that is not serious, without a real tomorrow, it is useful, and even important, to take the time to think before you partner with someone. Here’s what you need to know about your partner before you commit.
Please note, this list is not exhaustive, of course, feel free to remove or add matters for consideration. In addition, the ideal man/woman is just a myth about romantic relationships! So there is no point in having a slew of criteria that no one will match. Unless you want to live alone for the rest of your life! Finally, do not over-analyze everything: give yourself time to discover the other. But if you feel that certain details will inevitably get stuck one day, make sure to settle things quickly.
1 / His Opinion About engagement
Does he/she want to get married? To pacify yourself? Have children? How? Does he/she want to enjoy life first? Is he/she fusional or on the contrary a true lone wolf? This is probably one of the most important points to address before you commit. If you are not at all on the same wavelength, learn to detect it! Otherwise, you may find yourself facing embarrassing differences after several years of relationship … So anticipate.
2 / His Opinion about conflicts
How does he/she react when confronted with crisis situations? Admittedly in the beginnings, everything very often happens ideally. But certain personality traits always end up resurfacing sooner or later … Do you seem he/she violent, cowardly, dishonest, or on the contrary understanding and mature? Know how to put things in perspective, you would not want to find yourself in front of someone you do not recognize at all once faced with a problem …
3 / His Opinion about the private life
Intimate life is an essential component of the couple, so make sure you’re on the same page from the start! You do not need to be similar on all subjects (intensity of libido, frequency of intercourse, relationship to infidelity …), but in this case, make sure that the dialogue is clear, and that you are ready to grow together! The compatibility of a couple is set to evolve. So make sure you are both going in the same direction!
4 / His love language
Communication is essential for the couple. So to best warn you of misunderstandings relating to the differences in love language, see our article on the five languages of love!
5 / His projects
As with engagement, projects are an essential component to know before committing. No need to think about building a future for two if your projects are totally different! Unless you are ready to make some compromises each on your side … If you are a routine worker and he/she ambitious, a homebody and a party animal, etc … You go to the front some problems!
6 / His values
Once in a relationship, if things get serious, you will have to manage a common heritage. So be a little pragmatic and ask yourself how it relates to money. Is he/she stingy or spendthrift? For him/her, is it each for himself or all in common? If you are looking for security and stability while he/she is living day-to-day life, there is no doubt that you are rushing into the wall! So anticipate