Kings of silence
In 99% of couples, the man finds that his partner talks too much, while she would kill to make him a little more talkative!
Here is an answer to THE question that torments all women: but why the hell do men not speak?
Scientific explanations for male silence
Ladies, the next time you feel like sending your glass of water to Monsieur’s head because his silence is getting deafening for you, know one thing: he doesn’t deserve it already, and then he doesn’t. not on purpose, because silence has been anchored in the male brain since … prehistoric times!
Indeed, according to several scientists and sociologists, if women are experts in communication and men are kings of silence, it is because a few million years ago, the roles were distributed as follows: men outside, hunting, and women inside (the cave) to take care of the children and the meal (things have really changed since … ha … no ?! Anyway). Suddenly, during their hunting parties, the men remained hidden, had to be silent, do not make noise, and communicate clearly, crisp, precise, without frills. While the women, to take care of the whole company and keep the community going, learned very early on the importance of communication, which was moreover focused on feelings and affect, just to ensure the cohesion of the tribe. Several hundred thousand years later, our brains would still be marked, and areas dedicated to language in the female brain are much more developed today than in the male brain.
Morality : Darling did not deserve his glass of water in his head!
How to (re) establish dialogue?
Even if we have an explanation for the not very talkative side of these gentlemen, what to do when, on a daily basis, their silence weighs on us? Here are some ideas:
- Let them express themselves. Men, before speaking, need to analyze what they are going to say in order to express the fruit of internal reflection; while women have no problem thinking aloud. But when a man speaks and they cut him off (if only to say “ha, I’ve already happened to me too”), it cuts him off, and in addition like men are not able to speak and listen at the same time, there is a 90% chance that it will stay there. For a man to speak, you have to let him place one, it’s not more complicated than that!
- But let them act too! Yes: in addition to having less developed language functions, men often grow up with the image that a man does not express his feelings, it must not talk about his emotions, and that above all, a man, it works. Example: this evening, when you came home from work, you told Chéri that you had had a terrible day, to which he did not respond. But 10 minutes later, you saw him sit in the kitchen to prepare a nice little meal for you. This is his way of communicating his support to you, in a non-verbal way, don’t miss it!
- Understand each other’s communication. It’s a fact: when men talk, they are often in the factual, concrete, technical, while women are more in the emotional and felt. Differences in design that can be sources of misunderstanding and conflicts. To restore dialogue, some psychologists advise couples to set up a weekly meeting where everyone can express, calmly and calmly, what they have on their hearts. With a little effort on the part of Monsieur to take into account the impact of his words on his wife, and a little effort from Madame not to be overwhelmed by his emotions!